Around 1:30am, eastern time, we finally arrived in Knoxville, Tennessee. I’ve never immersed myself so deeply into the middle of the country like this before. I feel more alien then usual, which seems rather preternatural. Maybe it’s the even, open landscape. Thinking about being landlocked used to make me feel squirmy and nauseas. I always scoffed at the thought of living inland or visiting the mid-US., but I digress… Now that I’m no longer 10, on i-40W, with a changing velocity toward NM, I cannot describe how liberated I feel– from fear as well as my own life, habits, and poor patterns. I can do anything. I want it all.
Knoxville was a blink worth of sleep at some homey motel that Jonathan booked located on the outskirts of the city. Our room was immaculate, and refurbished with white sheets and country furnishings. Somehow the place reminded me of a church boarding school bedroom. The clean, snow colored linen seemed baptismal. We closed our weary eyes, and opened them to another day of driving, headed toward Nashville.
This is my shazam archive from our trip packed with hip hop, house, old school rap, dubstep and all those funky fresh scratch happy tunes.
I said Check it, double deck it, shake your booty to the crystal method, take
It downtown, get on the ground as we jump around, go up and down, go up and down, get your rhythm on like you staying alive, but we got the beats from the 5 oh 5.
“I’ve never seen a sunset like this… And we’re only in Pennsylvania” I said under my breath.
I pressed my nose against the passenger window and I gazed out at the horizon, which extended beyond the flat ribbon of highway. The sunset over the Pennsylvania farmland was kaleidoscopic. Colors were packed into the Palm of each cloud. Purple Cirrus clouds weaved into smears of pink and amaranth colored nimbus clumps. It was like a Claude Monet painting. The puffy nimbus carnations were strewn over a pallet of blue sky hazed with gold fringe. In the distance, a string of lights adorned the dark hillside like a diamond neckless. Maybe the earth, subconsciously flirts with the sky?i could feel the warmth around me, enveloping me in white light. The zealous, fire sky passionately kissed the coal black mountains, which resisted with jagged cuts into the skyline. I feel like the luckiest, most beautiful woman on the planet. My dreams are like that sunset– strong, stable and inspiring. Like the sun, I cannot succumb to setting amongst the clutches of tree branches and starving hills. Like the sun, I do not need to rise or fall, as silly humanity has implied. In the vitriolic twilight, the sun enhances the power of the night. At the same time It felt like an awakening for me, some incredulous dawning of my own personhood. I feel connected to the greatness of life.